If you’re here, you probably are trying to figure out how to ask this year’s hottest new addition to college supplements: the disagreement questions. And guess what? You’re not alone. This question is present in a ton of supplements this year, and it trips up even the most prepared applicants. Good thing we’re here, because we can help.
Here’s just a snapshot of how some of these schools ask this question
Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience?
The social and family interactions of wild chimpanzees have been the focus of Dame Jane Goodall’s research for decades. Her understanding of animal behavior prompted the English primatologist to see a lesson for human communities as well: “Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.” Channel Dame Goodall: Tell us about a moment when you engaged in a difficult conversation or encountered someone with an opinion or perspective that was different from your own. How did you find common ground?
Duke:
We believe there is benefit in sharing and sometimes questioning our beliefs or values; who do you agree with on the big important things, or who do you have your most interesting disagreements with? What are you agreeing or disagreeing about?
In college, you will encounter others with diverse viewpoints and experiences. Describe an instance where you engaged with someone who held a different opinion and explain how it shaped your perspective on the issue.
If you wish, you may share anything about the unique experiences and perspectives that you would bring with you to the Bowdoin campus and community or an experience you have had that required you to navigate across or through difference.
Describe a time when engaging with someone about a specific topic resulted in you changing your attitude, belief, or behavior, or you changed the belief or behavior of someone else. What was the change that occurred for you, and what facilitated that change? What did you learn from that experience, and how has it informed how you engage with others?
As you can see, this question can be worded a lot of different ways, but at the end of the day, they want you to tell a story about disagreement and share with them the aftermath of that conversation.
“But 91̽,” you bemoan, “What should I write about?” Okay, we were just getting to that. Hold your horses.
Brainstorming disagreements
You really can disagree about anything, and we want you to keep that in mind as you go through this process. Most of these essays fall into a few different categories: personal, ethical, social, academic, or political. Sometimes, they can be serious disagreements about politics or values, or they can be more lighthearted disagreements between friends or siblings.
Word to the wise on serious disagreements: choosing a hot-button issue (abortion or politics, for example) may not be the best way to answer this one. You don’t know the personal beliefs of whoever is reading your application, and you don’t want to use the limited space you have to show off your personality to make the reader dislike you. That being said, if you want to write about a hot-button issue or simply can’t imagine writing about anything else, you need to do it tactfully. Focus on a smaller moment, a specific conversation – tell a story! Instead of using the space to talk about your opinion generally, highlight how you approached the conversation respectfully.
We’ve seen students write about things like a theological debate with their Religion teacher, how they solved the sister-is-always-borrowing-your-clothes debate, figuring out chore schedules, talking to a parent about cultural or generational issues, or how they changed their mind or developed a more nuanced opinion after listening to a friend.
Now that you have an idea of what to write about for this essay, let’s talk about how to write this essay.
Writing about disagreements
Almost every college essay boils down to one thing: storytelling. Talking generally about your disagreements is not interesting to read! If we drop the reader into the middle of a moment, it’s much more compelling and attention-grabbing, and it answers the question without sounding like the rest of the applications in the pile. All good stories have a beginning, middle, and end, so we’re going to break this essay down into those parts for you.
Beginning
Under no circumstances should you repeat part of the question in your answer. “My biggest disagreement happened when” or “I had a different opinion with” is not attention-grabbing. Use this first part of your essay to set the scene. Where are we? What’s around us? What can you see, hear, taste, touch, even smell? You might even want to try opening with dialogue! If you’re walking into a meeting or into your kitchen or a classroom, talk about it! We’re building some suspense and worldbuilding here. Also, these sections don’t need to be equal thirds – your beginning can be brief so you can get into the main action of the essay.
Middle
This is where the conflict, the disagreement, the difference of opinion, etc. should be introduced. You can describe how you feel, what’s being said, if there’s tension in the room, etc. Present both sides – they want to see that you listened to what the other person said and responded to it respectfully. You also want to maintain the vivid descriptive writing you opened with here, too. If you’re talking about a fight with your siblings, this would be where you talk about the fight itself. Maybe you had a fight and it didn’t resolve right then and there – that’s okay! That’s what the conclusion is for!
End
Look, we know not all stories have happy (or at least somewhat positive) endings, but we don’t want to end our essay on a huge bummer. They do not want to hear that this disagreement ruined a relationship – they want to see how you moved forward with this person. Your ending should provide resolution to the issue at hand, or at least resolution of the tension with the person you’re disagreeing with. If you’re writing about a philosophical disagreement you had with a teacher, maybe you talk about how you both ended up understanding what the other had to say, but you just can’t get on board with their take, but you look forward to the next respectful debate you’ll have.
Final Thoughts
Remember that the ultimate goal of college essays is to humanize you, and to make you likeable and personable to the reader. Try to avoid anything that makes you look overly combative, or if you know you have a political opinion that is not shared by the majority, avoid that too. Stick with a story that makes you look respectful, well-spoken, open-minded, and/or empathetic.
And that’s how to approach the disagreement essay! We know this essay kinda sucks, but hopefully this guide gives you a better idea of what to write.
If you need help with a disagreement essay, a school-specific supplement, or your college essays in general, reach out to us today.